This is a work in progress. New questions will be added soon.
Can you be more specific about treating fellow Cafe members (and ex-members) civilly and respectfully (Rule 2)?
This implies avoiding the following (among other things):
It applies everywhere on the board, and in e-mails sent through the board. The part about threats also applies to private messages (PMs). More on this in the next post.
What should I do if I am threatened via PM?
We hope nothing like this will happen, but if you should ever receive a threat via PM, please save it in your Inbox and report it to Forumer and/or the administrator. Forumer can read such PMs if they are not deleted. Please report all other threats as well.
Does this rule apply to sensitive and/or controversial discussions?
Sure. Also, anything you can do to de-escalate heated threads, instead of escalating them further, increases the chance that someone might actually learn something from the discussion. So does focusing on issues instead of the faults of people with different views (especially members). If you feel yourself getting angry, consider taking a break before posting. If the whole thread gets sufficiently out of control, it may be temporarily or permanently locked.
What about game threads?
All board rules apply to game threads. But any member who starts a game thread has the final say over interpreting/applying the rules of their own game, and also over disciplining/banning players for cheating, poor sportsmanship, etc. If you disagree with their decisions, don't appeal to the staff. You always have the option of not playing.
Why should I treat a member respectfully if I think (s)he doesn't deserve respect?
Even minimal respect as a human being? Whether you're right or wrong, you can still respect the fact that (s)he's a fellow member of the board, and that hostility on the board affects the whole Cafe. Most members aren't here to attack others, be attacked, or see others attacked, and have a natural and appropriate distaste for those things. Also, maybe that member contributes posts of interest to someone you do like and/or respect. Remember that we're all connected here.
You can also respect that Forumer.com, our host company, prohibits most forms of disrespect between a board's members in its TOS, and that our admin has no interest in spending time running a board where disrespect and hostility are permitted freely. Last but not least, you can think of maintaining your dignity and decency with others as a way of respecting yourself.
If none of this works for you, please stay away and we'll all be better off - no hard feelings.
Can you be more specific about treating fellow Cafe members (and ex-members) civilly and respectfully (Rule 2)?
This implies avoiding the following (among other things):
- Threatening members or ex-members.
- Insults or offensive stereotypes based on race, religion, gender, national or ethnic origin, sexual preference, etc.
- Serious flaming (insults, etc.) of members or ex-members. Flaming may be verbal or visual, direct or indirect.
- Editing your posts in a way that makes other members' posts change or lose their meaning.
- Assume other members' good intentions whenever possible, and avoid needless conclusion-jumping.
- Do your best to understand different opinions accurately, even when you don't agree. Look for reasons why someone might not be stupid or immoral to hold them.
- Remember that reasonable people can have different ideas about what's appropriate, and that communication is hard sometimes.
It applies everywhere on the board, and in e-mails sent through the board. The part about threats also applies to private messages (PMs). More on this in the next post.
What should I do if I am threatened via PM?
We hope nothing like this will happen, but if you should ever receive a threat via PM, please save it in your Inbox and report it to Forumer and/or the administrator. Forumer can read such PMs if they are not deleted. Please report all other threats as well.
Does this rule apply to sensitive and/or controversial discussions?
Sure. Also, anything you can do to de-escalate heated threads, instead of escalating them further, increases the chance that someone might actually learn something from the discussion. So does focusing on issues instead of the faults of people with different views (especially members). If you feel yourself getting angry, consider taking a break before posting. If the whole thread gets sufficiently out of control, it may be temporarily or permanently locked.
What about game threads?
All board rules apply to game threads. But any member who starts a game thread has the final say over interpreting/applying the rules of their own game, and also over disciplining/banning players for cheating, poor sportsmanship, etc. If you disagree with their decisions, don't appeal to the staff. You always have the option of not playing.
Why should I treat a member respectfully if I think (s)he doesn't deserve respect?
Even minimal respect as a human being? Whether you're right or wrong, you can still respect the fact that (s)he's a fellow member of the board, and that hostility on the board affects the whole Cafe. Most members aren't here to attack others, be attacked, or see others attacked, and have a natural and appropriate distaste for those things. Also, maybe that member contributes posts of interest to someone you do like and/or respect. Remember that we're all connected here.
You can also respect that Forumer.com, our host company, prohibits most forms of disrespect between a board's members in its TOS, and that our admin has no interest in spending time running a board where disrespect and hostility are permitted freely. Last but not least, you can think of maintaining your dignity and decency with others as a way of respecting yourself.
If none of this works for you, please stay away and we'll all be better off - no hard feelings.
